Basically, i have been rotting at home today.
UCC competition has been postponed due to the bad weather.
i heard tt once they postponed it, it suddenly stopped raining. lmao
well there r a few advantages for postponing the competition.
1. Abdullah can come and support now tt the science thingy wld be over i guess? xD
2. More Time
3. The Girls wld be more..physically rdy by then :x

this morning when i woke up i had a slight fever -.-..
maybe it is becoz of the FRIED chicken tt i ate and the COLD DRINKS tt i drank.
or... maybe its becoz i slept late ytd.
had headache the whole day. blah blah blah
ok fine, it was my mistake for consuming those stuff >.>
resisting temptation isnt an ez task =/

anyways,
i haven really been myself nowadays.
is it becoz im too stressed, or issit becoz im taking things for granted.
ok i tink its the second one.
last week, everything was goin so well tt i cldnt ask for more.
but soon everything starts goin wrong.
all becoz of one person. Me.
Parents hu demands love, hu treats me like a messenger or some information producer.
y cant they do it themselves? =/
i mean, yea it is the right thing to help them but..things like these just arent the things tt im supposed to help in.
i hate it when i start flaring up, i hate it when i start being complacent, and most of all i hate it when i become self-centered.
its like there is this on-off switch in me.
at times it wld be on and at times it wld be off.
cant i just jam the switch at 'ON' so tt i wun have to off again? >.>

i have been saying things tt hurts ppl alot.
i didnt even tink b4 i say anything.
those actions tt i did, those things tt i said.
There was minimum self-control.

Mind over body they say.
but in this case its the mind over the heart.

If the heart was pure, none of those thoughts would have come across the mind.
and if none of those thoughts came abt, none of those actions would have been made.
im trying hard, to change hu i was b4.
self-centered, ill-disciplined, weak-hearted.
yea tt was me a long time ago.
but even so, up till today, those characters come bak every now and then.
Even if God is here, i will not change if i am not willing to.
He gave me the strength to overcome the problems i faced, He was there to guide me.
He did so much for me, so much that even if i gave my life to Him, it wldnt be enuff.
Where is the fire in me, the burning passion tt i had?

and im not the onli one experiencing tt. lols.
sometimes we humans realli are tt weak no matter how macho or how smart.
but it is our will tt kips us going.

speaking of which, CA1 results would be out nxt week.
wadever it is, do not be demoralised wif the results u wld receive.
u may have studied hard for this test but didnt receive the results u deserve.
learning frm ur mistakes is wad matters here.
yea such a common phrase lols.
but this phrase does have a very big point there.
and most importantly have the will to improve.
take mr latiff's brick wall theory for instance lol.
in life, all of us wld somehow hit a brick wall eventually no matter how smooth the path may be.
it is up to us whether we want to climb over it, dig under it, fly over it, break thru it -.-...
aiya wadever it is,
no matter how hard the brick wall may be or how huge or how many there are, it all comes down to us.
whether we want to face and challenge it, or just sit there, hoping for a miracle to happen.
i guess this is one of those theories tt kept him goin even though he is experiencing problems right now.
he is a strong man not becoz of his physical size lols.
he is strong becoz of the size of THIS portion in his heart. *points points*
Fortunate wife and daughter he has. hahas.

many things have happened this week.
things tt made me learn, and things tt made me fall.
i will just list them out and explain briefly due to the post bein too long alreadi.
and becoz of tt i tink SOME ppl are gonna start complaining :x :
1. ThamHin. the guy hu proved to me tt ppl like him EXISTS. rushing to clear some of my doubts on physics and doin wadever he cld to make sure i understood b4 the paper started actually made me dumbfounded hahas. ok i alreadi knew tt he is like tt a long time ago. but hey, it happened to me so might as well say it here.
2. Frances. The girl hu proved to others tt nth is impossible as long as u put in the hard work. She was one of the top 3 scorers together with the top 2 students in the cohort for Biology. and becoz of tt i tink im considering giving her tuition fees for biology. xD jkjk. Unbelievable? Believe it. lols.
3. Sabrina. The cute and amiable female hu is willing to try no matter how many laughs at her. despite not kicking the ball well, not aiming right etc etc, all she ever did was to have fun playing soccer, and not aiming for perfection. and becoz of tt she is one of the most respected person in the soccer team. Her actions awoke the 'trying no matter wad' character in me again.
4. QingHui. Talkative girl hu encourages her classmates even though they didnt do tt well. she continued clapping even though many stopped after the ppl taking bak the bio paper had B3 and below. i guess she was clapping for the improvements and efforts and not the grades.
5. Naresh. Tried to made me talk when i was just sitting there doin nth. He was pretty much my entertainer lols. Encouraged me to be more sociable.
6. Chin Chang. He is making every effort to be more sociable and to improve in wadever way he can despite the many ppl demoralising him. If onli ppl cld see the gd side of him.
7. Fatin. I just realised tt she can be as cheeky as anyone else around. xD

ok?
i tink i wun state the sad things here :x
but those r basically just the incidents tt hit me right on the head lols.
there r others but i cant seem to tink of them right now o.O
i guess tts it lols.
man how long did i take to type out these things x.x
one last thing,
UCC GIRLS JY! SEC 4 & 5 COHORT JY! HANISAH JY! ABDULLAH JY! DINO JY! MOMO JY! SEBAS JY! JOEL JY! SHIQI JY! LIHONG JY! RONGHUA JY! SYAHIDAH JY! MR LATIFF JY! AIYA EVERYONE JY! :D